This platform and the truth it allows me to express
A few updates on where I am today:
More than ever I am seriously approaching being and expressing my highest truth of being the one and living God’s path of being the realization of oneness, of living the realization of heaven on earth, of being the realization of being one with everything…
“Seriously approaching” is not good enough. But there have been more and more moments lately where I am authentically and fully living and being this path.
For example, a few nights ago, after having smoked some marijuana for the first time in a long time, a lot of deep and repressed truths which stay below my surface until I begin to actualize them came up to the surface of my mind.
“Wow, I need to speak to so and so… I need to tell this person this thing…”
I am shown to dos and the work is in fully through on them in a normal conscious state and being true to my deepest and highest self.
The issue however is that although I’ve done these type of to-dos before, the “goal” or “path” or “way” isn’t just one act or conversation, it’s a while life long 24/7 commitment to being the truth, the one, the leader of the new world. To completely stick to my conviction and hold on to this view point throughout the kick back and craziness that results from the outside world. Until some point of validation or stability in which I would be comfortable living and being this path.
The issue is that after having committed deeply to being the one, I’ll inevitably reach a point where that “act, event, or moment” ends and I’m left back in a world where there is always another, larger, more intimidating, more intense step to talk.
For example, a few nights ago when I had smoked that marijuana, I was strolling around and was openly “being the one”.
There were many interactions with many people, and each one showed me which way to go.
I saw 2 girls and a guy at a gas station. “Go sing to them,” he told me. While approaching them there are micro interactions from afar with a women. I end up being to afraid to sing and just kind of say hello to them awkwardly. The guy starts talking to me wondering what do I want? Offers to sell me drugs. I said no I just kind of want to hang out and party maybe? He says they have work to do but they’ll be back in 10 min. Meanwhile, there are micro mental interactions going on between us all, and the underlying truth is not making its way to the forefront of reality and so were left with an inauthentic thing and we’re all left unsatisfied.
“I hate that guy” said the man as he drove away. I got it. Be more authentic. Stop being afraid.
I go into the corner store at the gas station. I start kind of singing and speaking to the attendant. I’m being true and we’re getting real. We reach deep connections about:
Suicide is the worst thing. It’s rejecting the gift from God. Don’t reject the gift.
I told him my issues with privacy. How I feel I have to give myself completely to God/the external and how that in giving myself completely I worry/foresee how that will inherently eliminate/bring to light the privacy of others.
You shouldn’t worry about privacy so much. In today’s world there isn’t real any privacy anymore.
We spoke about money, and he said how God and Love were the way more than money, and that today’s world seemed to be realizing that more and more.
I told him more and started singing again and he told me you can’t just keep singing here. Meaning go on with it and also get the hell out of this store.
On the streets again I ran into another man. Told him “hi, I’d just like to share some God energy.” He was receptive. I told him I had just smoked a bit and it had brought me to a higher awareness and I wanted to share it. He was turned off about the drugs. (Again it felt as though I wasn’t going ALL THE WAY in being / saying I’m the One, just pussy footing around the bush.) He said you could probably go straight to God with heroin. I laughed and said I wouldn’t do that, and that marijuana was really nothing at that level, but he kind of cut me off and took me for a lost crazy person. I understood the lesson from that interaction.
“Whatever you present and speak off will be the product of the conversation and debate. Why not go all the way? Present the actual truth? There’s no point in being at the edge.”
The next interaction was “the realest one.”
Two men are chatting outside a bar… it was after closing time now. Maybe around 3am.
I kneel on the floor in front of them while they are speaking and being to talk.
The initial convo begins with “are you ok man? You don’t seem alright?”
My state switches from “unsure / afraid/ wacky” to “true pure real” as I say “I’m just afraid since I’m speaking about things I don’t usually speak about.”
Instantly the mood of us 3 changes and we’ve entered an area of authenticity and truth.
One man leaves after a bit of a talk, his name was Adam. He says “if you’re who you say you are, I’m sure we’ll meet again” happily.
The other man was called Eric.
He was finishing his shift at the bar he worked at. He started taking photos of me with his high quality camera. He happened to be a photographer. He said he wanted to capture this and capture my essence etc. He said he was intrigued at “where this was going to go” as I had said I think I could make this a global event/discussion within about 3 months. (Get enough authentic attention to start a global conversation)
Earlier in the convo, when I had said “I think I’m the guy, I think I’m the One.” a coworker of his overheard from far and was visibly bothered. He gave a huff and went inside. That same man when seeing him taking pictures of me said “what are you doing?!” “I’m taking pictures of him!” “Can you take a picture of my asshole?” I laughed, understanding what was happening and tried to lock eyes with him but he seemed to avoid it. It was like… I understand how he felt towards me and I wanted to like… let him know that I understood but my underlying truth was still that and I feel that’s where we didn’t connect. If it’s actually true, then it is quite upsetting. Quite “rubbing”. If it is actually true I am world changing. New dates. A new Year 1. A disgruntled huff at the very least will be expected.